I swear I just heard something that sounded like a hamster on a spinner-wheel-thingy coming from my brother's room. I'm home alone. And there's a ghost hamster in my brother's room.

I have a headache. Actually, to be a bit more precise, I'm a bit hungover. Not good, I know. But what's a gal to do. When your best friend tells you that the Riverbats have a game on Thursday night and it's also $1 beer night, and you get your hopes up because you know that you haven't been drunk in a long time and you just need to have that feeling of incoherence for a while, but then your friend calls and tells you that there is no game, but that she has some gin at a friends house that we can sip, and she comes to pick you up, and then somehow, magically, you remember that your friend Brandon always has alcohol, so you call him and you find out that he's got wine up the wazoo, so he sells you some for $11, everything seems good, and you get to your friends friend's house (yes I meant to do that), and she's got her own apartment which means you can drink up all you want without being caught PLUS she offers to take you home, you think What the hell?, I mean, really, what can go wrong, so you drink, more than anyone else actually, you basically chug the whole bottle of wine, plus have a shot of gin, and before you know it, you're drunk!

I'm really not sure where I was going with that. Last night was an interesting night which consisted of one drunk person, me, one tipsy person, Court, and one sober person, Mary. I know Mary has to think I'm such an alcoholic, but honestly, that was my first time drinking in about 2 months. And if I wasn't on Paxil, I wouldn't have been drunk as fast as I was.

I am ashamed...especially because I got drunk on a school night, and I came home trashed, and my brother saw me trashed. That's the worst feeling ever, knowing that you've let down someone who looks up to you. So here is my solemn vow...starting in August, I will not drink UNLESS it's socially. If I do drink, it will not be enough to get me drunk. Next year I'm cleaning up my act.

Why not start now you say? Because I have all summer to get this out of me...and it will probably take that long.